Olympic Level Laziness

I’ve been honing my craft:
I put pressure on my aft,
Which is on the couch by the TV.
Where I like to be.

If you’ve come to fuss and dote,
Please kindly find my remote.
It’s been channel 10 all day.
Since it walked away.

Also, a burrito would be just grand.
Can you fetch me one, my upstanding man?
And perhaps a cold can of pop.
I’m kind of thirsty, so, chop, chop.

All this watching has me spent.
I’m sure this could be an Olympic event.
Wish I hadn’t gotten so old.
Still skilled enough to go for gold!

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